#this whole post is overkill lmao

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

tumblr is a blessedly siloed website in that it's generally hard to track down what people are vagueing about bc you can't see their likes or who they follow and backreading someone's blog typically requires scrolling through a lot of unrelated stuff. Honestly? I love this because it saves me from the worst parts of myself.

but it does exacerbate a type of internet argument that I find particularly exhausting, which goes kind of like this:

Person A's dash

B: why do people love coffee so much? it tastes terrible

A: I love coffee

B: wow okay I guess it's illegal to dislike coffee?

A: uhhh no one fucking said it was illegal to dislike coffee?? tf?

Person B's dash

C: I love coffee!

B: why do people love coffee so much? it tastes terrible

A: I love coffee

C: fuck everyone who talks shit about coffee

C: coffee haters DNI

C: if you can't appreciate the bean, go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200

B: wow okay I guess it's illegal to dislike coffee??

A: uhhh no one fucking said it was illegal to dislike coffee?? tf?

Person C's dash

A: I love coffee!

D: if you like coffee you suck

A: I love coffee

D: everyone who drinks coffee is a murderer

C: fuck everyone who talks shit about coffee

C: coffee haters DNI

C: if you can't appreciate the bean, go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200

A: uhhh no one fucking said it was illegal to dislike coffee?? tf?

Anyways sometimes you (B or C) will say something very normal and then you'll see a bunch of angry posting about that same topic, so you'll assume (reasonably) that people are responding to what you said.

But it's also entirely possible that there is a real person (D) standing behind you (B) that is being a huge jerk but all you can see is other people (A and C) responding to it.

Or it could be that the person (B) who seems to be defending the jerk (D) is actually defending a completely different position.

If you don't have the context for what someone is responding to, it's very easy to misinterpret what they're saying. And because everyone has a different dash, we are all working with different context. It's really easy to think that your context is universal and everyone else is being completely unreasonable.

So just, idk. The strawman you think people are arguing with might just be a real guy that you didn't happen to see. And vague posting is something that, by its very nature, is going to hit people who aren't the intended target. We are all working with different information and none of us have the complete picture.

[leftneb]

Curiositas aka sirens!AU

in which Lando is a siren with species dysphoria and Oscar is the defintion of Just Some Guy, who happens to get caught up in Lando's mess. and obviously they fall in love along the way etc etc

I first posted about this idea over 2 months ago and I'm happy to announce that there is now a fic in the works!!! which will likely take at least another 2 months because goddamn the concept outgrew itself (as you can tell by the fact charles and max also, like, exist now) it's sitting at ~8k words rn, which is by far the longest thing I've ever written in my life already, but story isn't even close to being finished, so yeah it'll take a while lmao

for now though I have some character designs and lots of thoughts, which I'd like to share :3

ramblings about their individual designs and details below the cut!!

and massive thank you to my dear partner @lailau7904 for not only holding my hand through writing the fic so far but somehow being even more insane about this whole AU than I am???

LANDO

main character (and POV holder) his design isn't based on any real fish, closest resemblance is to a fake fishing lure (reference provided)

very little scarring despite sirens' hunting culture, some tiny cuts and scratches around the top of his tail from smuggling pretty stones and shards of glass

absurdly bright green scales (I really could've made him fluorescent but I think that would be overkill) which is absurdly shit for stealth purposes but good for catching the attention of potential victims

vague triangle shape language but in a semi-elegant way

doesn't eat fish and would rather not eat human either

MAX

fills the position of a leader in his and Lando's colony, inherited the role in his late teens but grew up to it pretty quickly

shark motif, all sharp and angular shapes, visibly intimidating

lots of scars collected during hunts, wounds covered over by red scales from Charles

his scales are pretty dark but they shine blue when the light hits them just right (plus Charles' scales are a bright red lmao, which is a bit suboptimal for stealth but he thinks it's worth it)

CHARLES

koi fish motif, soft and round shapes

no scarring at all

has known Max since they were kids but actually didn't meet Lando until their 20s despite Max and Lando being childhood best friends

considered legally dead by monegasque officials (this has lore reasons which I'm not about to spoil)

GENERAL NOTES

the AU plays in a modern setting, altough sirens are very behind on human technology

their gills are on the side of their ribs! they can also all breathe with their lungs above water

funky scales patterns on their torsos around "modified" areas such as their gills and back fin

they have no hands but don't let that fool you! I was simply too lazy to draw any, what you would see if I did draw them tho would include:

webbing between fingers!! matches the colour of fins

longer, and more solid, claw-like nails

wrinkled palms and fingertips

I really wanted to make Max and Charles' torsos more life accurate but could not be arsed, they all have Lando's body type, aka I've accidentally twinkified Charles and Max lmao

by now you might have noticed that there's no design for Oscar, and as much as I really want to make a siren design for him that would have some pretty heavy lore implications so I'm... hesitant to do so

other people on my sirenification waiting list are:

George Russell and Alex Albon (for the 2019 rookies circle to be complete)

Franco Colapinto (based purely off vibes)

the whole grid really god I'm so ill

for the record Logan is a human in this AU but he IS present fuck you James Vowles

you may have also noticed the papaya version I labeled as McLaren themed (this one is also the highest quality image I have in this thread if you're gonna do any zooming in please do it on this one,,,,)

all throughout writing and drawing I couldn't help but think about another banger siren!Lando fic: Salt Skin by @strawberry-daiquiris! in which Lando has orange slash papaya scales, which I just had to draw honestly

a lot of my design process was also inspired by a piece by @dumbf1sketches (it's somewhere in the pile of other gorgeous art in that post)

bonus underwater version of all of them because it wasn't bright enough for me to feel good about it being at the top but it's still like, the main colour example to my brain

TAGLIST(S)

AU @mintraindrop @cx-boxbox (I know the og post is from actual ages ago but you two were interested so I humbly offer you these crumbs)

ART @santongkabayo @cyclonixi @alto-the-avocado @loquarocoeur

people that put up with my ramblings on dc @lyslsstuff @peppysinc @girlrussell

[alllgator-blood]

I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

[emohorseboy]

I'm so interested in all of your posts about mad liberation. I've never seen anything that puts my thoughts on the whole psych complex into words. I'm really curious to learn more about this. No pressure if not, but do you happen to know of any more comprehensive resources on this? Like books maybe?

Hi, I can definitely give you some recs! My list is a little bit UK centric because that's where I'm based but hopefully it's useful:

In terms of books:

I read 'Mad World: The Politics of Mental Health' by Micha Frazer-Carroll this summer and I can't recommend it enough.

I'm also making my way through 'Call Me Crazy: Stories from the Mad Movement' by Irit Shimrat, which I think is out of print but can be read as a PDF here (hopefully)

I've only dipped in and out of his books for my dissertation but Andrew Scull has written several well regarded books about the history of psychiatry ('Museums of Madness' is the one I've read bits of, 'Desperate Remedies' is on my TBR)

Some books on my TBR: 'The Protest Psychosis: How Schizophrenia Became a Black Disease' by Johnathan Metzl, 'Drop the Disorder!', 'Searching for a Rose Garden: Challenging Psychiatry, Fostering Mad Studies', 'Anatomy of an Epidemic' by Robert Whitaker

Some really good articles:

'Abolition Must Include Psychiatry' by Stella Akua Mensah

'Mad Activists: The Language We Use Reflects Our Desire for Change' by Lisa Archibold

'Not a naughty child: people’s experiences of service responses to self-injury' by Alison Faulkner and Rachel Rowan Olive

More resources!

The Campaign for Psychiatric Abolition - UK based, they have a lot of really great resources including an extensive recommended reading list, a Psych Abolition 101 Zine, and a resource for making a crisis support plan.

Asylum Magazine - again UK based, radical mental health magazine. To read full issues you need to subscribe (I recently paid for a subscription for a year of digital editions for £10, physical copies are a bit more) but the website has plenty of articles that you can read for free so well worth exploring.

Psych Survivor Archive - US based this time, there is so much on here, the Psych Survivor Zine is the main event but they also have a really great resource list (some of the links are dead though).

Mad in America - publish a lot of really interesting and impactful stuff on their website, I also really like their podcast (particularly recommend this episode about ECT, this one about esketamine, and this one about 'prolonged grief disorder'). There is also Mad in the UK and a number of other country specific sites that exist as part of their Mad in the World Network.

Folks to follow:

Dolly Sen - UK based artist who does and is doing a lot of cool stuff, notably at the moment they are the lead artist for the Birdsong From Inobservable Worlds project. This podcast episode they did is also great.

Nicole / lacey_art_ - another UK based artist, she wrote a poem about a bird recently that I can't stop thinking about (she does a lot of other cool things too).

Rachel Rowan Olive - brilliant and funny artist, she is also on instagram and etsy.

Luna Tic - artist and activist who has been involved with a lot of really brilliant stuff, including the successful StopSIM Coalition here in the UK which managed to bring an end to SIM.

There are so many more I could name and so many more things I could recommend but this post is already so long! I really hope it was helpful. I started trying to be brief and then gave up but I did cut out a fiction and literature recs section because I thought that was overkill lmao. Thank you for giving me an excuse to make this list I had a great time.

Learning about the Mad and psych survivor movements has been so transformative and empowering for me and I could honestly talk about it all day. Please do feel free to send me a message if you want to chat about it more!

[tls123]

Sorry if I bother you, but I really love your gif sets! Do you know some tutorials or, app, or anything, to learn how to make good gif? I am learning and I feel very stupid because all my gifs are shit. (if my ask is inappropriate or anything, please ignore me)

you're not bothering and none of this is inappropriate, you're more than welcome in my inbox! as for your questions, let's see what i can do.

1) tutorials — i've been doing this for long enough that i don't really have much to recommend here, the only tutorials i use nowadays are all about specific things and not how to make gifs as a whole. that being said i've linked this one before, i personally do some things differently but it's a very good tutorial, well-received by gifmakers who are just starting and well written, from what i've skimmed through.

another good post to look through is this one, not a gifmaking tutorial per se but it goes into sizes, sharpening, and how to get neat & clear gifs. two of the main points are A) while you can get away with making gifs out of a 720p quality video, 1080p is what is usually recommended. you could use 4k as well, but a 1080p video is usually easier to find, will take less space in your storage, and will give you really good results already. no need for overkill <3 as for B) size matters here on tumblr dot com, mostly width. the op of the post linked in this paragraph has included a nice graphic for the size limits for gifs, you can refer to it as you make your gifs so that whatever you make won't turn out pixelated once you upload it to tumblr.

if you're curious, i've been asked about my sharpening settings here and i spoke before on tumblr sizing here

2) software — you mentioned app, if by app you mean mobile stuff then i'm sorry, i can't help you! i've never made gifs through mobile and i wouldn't even know which direction to point towards for you to find more information. as for computers, if you mean programs then these are what i use to make my gifs: potplayer (for taking screencaps) and photoshop cc 2020 (for making the actual gifs, this is the post i used but here's one with more links)

now i'd like to mention something my grandma always used to say: no one is born learned. you're not stupid just because it's taking you a while to do something, learning is a process and everyone has their own pace. i've been making gifs for a decade now and i know there are things i could do better! i'm also still learning, i make plenty of "shit" gifs before stumbling my way to something i am okay with posting, and sometimes i'm really proud of what i've made and other times i think it's just "good enough". i understand feeling disheartened but please do not feel stupid about any of this!

no use in putting yourself down, now hold my hand and let's add the finishing touches on this long ass reply <3

3) tips — we've mentioned video quality, sharpening, and sizing. what else, what else. personally i would start simple (and i did, way back when, and still do!! most of my gifs are quite simple). so: cropping/resizing + coloring + sharpening. it'll help get the basics down and then you'll have a good foundation for everything else you might want to learn. i mentioned in another ask, almost two years ago now lmao, that i used to download other people's free psds (that is, pre-made settings and layers to color your gifs) and instead of using them i would open them up and pick them apart to see how people were coloring things, which layers they used, in which order, stuff like that.

remember: there is no right or wrong to do this! you could ask ten different people how they make their gifs, and their preferences for any specific part of the process, and you'd get ten different answers. if you find a tutorial and don't vibe with it, throw that aside and look for another. pick and choose, find what works for you and what doesn't! and that means do not be afraid to experiment and try things out.

also, don't like photoshop? no problem! i started with gimp, now personally i wouldn't recommend it over ps but it's a good program, it taught me a lot, and there's really nothing to hate about it. it might have less functions than ps though, and already a decade ago there weren't that many tutorials/resources for it.

don't like photoshop AND don't want to download a program? try photopea, i haven't used it but it works directly from your browser and it should do everything photoshop does!

let me know if there's anything else i can help with <3

[kawaimoonshine]

🏹🎭Drowned In Emotion🎭🏹

[I'm semi active here lmao, just tryna be active here too and I'm too lazy to type things over so yeet]

So one day I was feeling like drawing/writing something angsty, so here we are

Fanart for @soundbluster-arts hope ya like it :D

The arrows got a meaning, can you guess what it is by the colours?

Okay I tell you, they represent the symbiotes that Soundy had lost and the emotional impact it had on him

I feel like Laserbeak's might've impacted a bit more which is why his arrow is bigger than the rest

I didn't dare to guess who else Soundy might've lost, so I only relied on the very old Soundwave and Ravage asks where this topic was in (I think they were one of the first ones? Flashbox literally interviewing them back then xD)

I gotta admit tho when I first time read those asks, I looked at Garboil and was like "who are you?" And for some reason kept mixing them up with either Slugfest or Overkill, like I was very confused when I tried to compare (the Soundwave ask post's Garboil and the reference sheet) who is who pretty much IGNORING the names (or thinking there might've been a "mistake", don't know which) lmao until now during the research did I understood that Garboil was de bird, DE BIRD XDD

But yea, in case you don't recognise the colour palettes, it's Laserbeak, Wingthing, Garboil and Buzzsaw (I had a little struggle choosing the palette for Wingthing as in don't know if I go with yellow, reddish brown or dark grey but ultimately decided to go with yellow despite it being kind of a highlight more than dominant colour)

This was also the first time I drew Soundwave in full body and I'm damn happy with it and this whole piece in general, I think I struggled with the legs tho xD and I also didn't know what to do with his right hand so now it's just kinda not really grabbing the arrow but just being there

Anyway, I should stop rambling before this gets too long xD guess I got a lot to talk about

~

SGP!Soundwave belongs to @soundbluster-arts

[callsignspark]

Ik this isnt part of the ask game, but would you consider showing us how you outline in Trello?? It looks so freaking effective!

I have been waiting for someone to ask me this question. thank you so so so so much you’re going to regret asking lmao

so as I said before I use Trello - a free cloud based project management tool - to outline and write my fics (and also for my to do list and my Christmas present shopping and vacation planning and literally everything) because, to be 100% honest with you, I have no chill. I have never been relaxed about anything. ever. not a single day in my life. and therefore I marinate on fic ideas in my mind for months (sometimes years!) before I start doing anything with them. this is my process I use for everything I write and we’re using Mar[r]y Me as my example!

the first thing is the idea. I get an idea and I word vomit vibes into the closest thing (notes app, google doc, scribbling into my work notebook, texting a friend) and then I marinate on the idea. I first had the idea for Mar[r]y Me on January 25, 2023. it went through several iterations as I shaped what it was going to be and below is what I sent to Jordan in June 2023 and it’s the basis for the story we’ve all been following. (or mostly, it’s changed quite a bit since then.)

once I’m ready to start writing I create a board in Trello. think of a board like a white board, you then add “cards” which I think of as sticky notes except with a lot more features. also my process is the same no matter if it’s a one shot or a multi chapter fic, it just depends if it gets its own board or it goes into my one shot board. (which is filled with ideas waiting to be written lol) anyway. this is the Mar[r]y Me board!

for a multi chapter fic like this each chapter gets a card in the IN PROGRESS list (they move to the right as things get written/posted). each card follows a template: title, due date (loosely assigned to get an idea of what a posting schedule may look like), a label (always being with need to plan), and a checklist. also the chapter outline - obviously.

before I get into the outline, I use the labels as a nice visual representation of what the status of everything is. as the screenshot below shows, the each writing stage has its own color (and I use the color blind color schemes so I get the fun patterns too!) and it gets changed as we go along. it helps me know at a quick glance where everything is at the moment.

I also love the checklist feature, see below. which basically has all the steps I need to follow once I have a chapter written and ready for final editing. it may seem like overkill but I work long hours and you’d be amazed at how easily my brain forgets things lmao. so this ensures nothing is missed when I’m getting ready to post.

now onto the outline. my outline goes from something super basic, to a few bullet points, to an in depth summary of what’s going to be written. using chapter one as an example of this progression.

1. this is the og outline for the whole story. just a dream and a vibe and one sentence. literally.

2. the expanded outline for chapter one

3. just a small section of the final outline I used to write the chapter. a lot of my final outline ends up being actual sentences that I use in the final draft, I basically write the chapter in bullet points and unfinished sentences.

4. I use the very expanded outline to write the actual chapter. following along bullet point by bullet point. an example from chapter 9 since that’s what I’m writing rn.

5. once everything is written, all the bullet points have been used up or ignored, I transfer it into google docs and read it to myself, editing as I go. once I’m happy with my final rough draft I use grammarly to idiot check things because I’m an engineer not an English major. then I start using the checklist (teaser posting, creating tumblr post, etc.) and then the worst part. I walk around my home office and I read the entire chapter out loud to myself and make final edits as I go. is it excruciating to have to listen to myself speak the flirting I’ve just written out loud? yes. have I made myself cry multiple times? yes. do I find a lot of rough spots and smooth them out? yes. that’s usually done on Thursday nights.

6. from there it’s all final editing and formatting and scheduling the final post. I also have to create the accompanying recipe post for Mar[r]y Me so I do that too. and we post on Fridays! sometimes I share the google doc link with friends so they get an advanced copy of the chapter and sometimes they get to be surprised with everyone else (I’m running behind schedule and don’t have time to share it lmao)

it’s a lot of work for something I’m producing for free but I genuinely love it so much and it helps me keep everything straight. there would be so many lost ideas and abandoned thoughts if I didn’t do it this way. it’s crazy that this the first fic I’ve ever written and that I’ll probably be close to 90k words by the time it’s finished.

if you’ve made it this far thank you for indulging my very intense brain and it’s processes. I love the community we’ve created here on this blog and I’m so excited to keep writing and sharing. and I especially want to give a big thank you to my very good friends Ames, Alexa, and Jordan. Mar[r]y Me would not be the story it is without them and I can’t thank you enough for your love and encouragement during this story.

[starnightlover]

excuse me for being lovesick but i am so head over heels for my (future) gf and i have so many plans for us 🤭🤭

in my void list i scripted that our love is the type of shit poets write about (this isn't even all LMAO) and when i tell you just thinking about it gets me so excited !!!!! i also scripted that she comes to my country for a bit and because i'm moving to a whole other continent soon i have it written that her and her family move at the same time as us,, like we're literally on the same flight and everything. i wrote that i completely forget about scripting it though because i want to experience having her just show up at my door w no warning whatsoever.

i have a pinterest board of all the things i'm planning to get her post-void and there's over 200 things there. i'm thinking it might be overkill but tbh what am i manifesting all this wealth for if i'm not going to absolutely SPLURGE on my girl ?? plus her sister is dating some guy who gets her and one of her brothers a lot of stuff so you KNOWWW i have to show that man up 🤭

if she doesn't approach me first i'm not going to ask her out for like a month (if i can hold back for that long LMAO) because i want our little sapphic love story to cook a bit yk— the subtle hints,, comments,, "us" tiktoks,, gushing about each other to our friends,,, i'm going to DIE.

i've never loved ANYONE like i love her and i can't wait for us to be together. her name is literally written all over my heart,, like i can barely call it my heart at this point. she's just so lovely and literally my muse. ♡︎

THIS MAKES MY HEART SO HAPPY!!!! AWWWWWW THAT IS SO CUTE!!!!

When you find that person it's amazing!! I am so happy for you! I can't wait for you to get your gf! After all you already have her 😉 What a amazing thing to be excited about!!

[sophsun1]

contrary to the other anons opinion, i think you should make MORE qaf gifs!!!

but on the real, i’m one of those people who didn’t watch qaf until this year and it’s been such a treat to be able to come to your blog every day and see new qaf content so thank you!

Hey anon!

Aww, thank you I really appreciate you saying that and I'm glad you enjoy the content. It's why I do it, so me and other fans can see it and to spread a tiny bit of escapism happiness 💕

To be honest I wouldn't have even acknowledged that anon because the best way to deal with hate is to straight up block and delete. Don't even give them your energy as the issue is with them and not you. But what triggered me was the blatant entitlement and rudeness that they had a right to tell me what to post on MY blog. As far as I'm aware I do not have a gun to their head or anyone's asking them to follow me if they don't like what I post. I would rather you unfollow and go enjoy the things you want to see, why make yourself upset over something that is so avoidable and trivial in the grand scheme of things.

You are in charge of what you see on here, unfollow, block, filter the tag are all options available to you so the idiocy of going to the blog owner and demanding they tailor their content to suit you is ridiculous.

Plus I came onto tumblr posting qaf and have been doing so for TWO YEARS. My icon is qaf and so is my header and if you ask my mutuals/followers what is Soph known for? they'll say oh she's the one posting qaf! It's not like it's not obvious I post about it. I didn't know my two whole gifsets a day was overkill, and what made me laugh was I do post gifs about other shows, my top posts reflect that and are all non qaf related! My other show interests are on hiatus so I can't exactly magic up content to gif. I make a lot of gifs for fandoms that don't even have active gif makers anymore so yk.

There's enough unkindness in the world as it is, and I use tumblr and gif making as a creative escape as do the majority of content creators on here, whether it's answering asks, writing fic, writing meta, funny posts etc whatever. It's my tiny safe space to be silly and post with and for my followers. I go through enough shit in real life I don't welcome it here.

The major reason why I love posting gifs in general for qaf is because I only discovered the show two years ago and when I came on here there was zero content. So I took it upon myself to learn gif making and I'm 100% self taught, no one has shown me how to do anything I've had to go search it myself. I'm really fucking proud of how far I've come with making them, from my grainy and uncoloured ones which I still smile at because I made them with love to the ones that I create now. It takes literal hours and the process isn't easy. So now to be the one posting stuff for old fans, new fans to discover is me coming tumblr full circle!

There's many gif makers like me that create for "dead fandoms" or forgotten shows, and sometimes it might be that if we didn't post then there would be nothing for people to enjoy like it was for me. I've had people who followed me from day one and my first ever britin gifset who still pop up in my notes now and people who have discovered the show from my gifs, and ones like you who come to the tag and see my unhinged self all over it.

So in conclusion my point is first off think twice before you hit that anon button with hate, because there's a real life person behind that icon who is causing you no harm so have the decency to do the same in return. Imagine someone did become self conscious after getting that ask and stopped posting something they like. Let people enjoy what they want and it's first world problems to be complaining about, I don't take stuff on here seriously when it's fandom stuff but I don't care for nastiness towards anyone.

I wish more people did make qaf gifs so I would have stuff to reblog myself and could take a break lmao it's lonely out here. It doesn't even have to be gifs, it can be meta, mood boards, screenshots, fic anything. So qaf fans get to it pls...

Keep creating what you like, for me it doesn't have to be the best quality gifs or greatest technical gifset. What makes me smile and I love seeing is people post stuff because they wanna have fun, they took the time and effort to create and post because it came from the heart. So fuck anyone else as we're all losers on tumblr together!

[yumenosakiacademy]

if any1 wants context 4 the ask from earlier bc it was Out Of Left Field, its tht yesterday i saw some1 rbing my gifs whose, like, whole Thing was jus like being "anti-white ppl" n "white ppl, dont follow" (it was in their pinned And their url- talk abt overkill mayb lol is tht their whole personality) n i was like "i dont like the kinds of ppl who act like tht n i say as muchz so," so i blocked them bc i kinda didnt want some1 like tht interacting w me n they noticed they were blocked n got pissy n assumed me 2 b a white person n apparently screenshotted my dni n posted it n were like [paraphrased] "turns out im blocked but i checked their dni n now i dont feel so bad abt it, ugh why do white ppl act like this shit online; some of us dont wanna b around pur Oppressors bc of irl shit" or w/e (how r random tumblr users who haven't slighted u comparable n responsible 4 irl Bigots fuckery n also, again, im mixed (so who's this Ppl theyre speaking of lol), n if they bothered 2 look like 1 cm Down on my pinned dni, the literal Next Line/Sentence, it says so lmao) n they decided, w the intelligence of a 12 yr old gamer, 2 immediately go "im gonna call them a whitey slur tht'll teach this white fuck 4 blocking ME!" i guess jghnsd lol

[studyari]

march update

it’s officially midterms time. i thought i would post an update becuase this semester has took SO much out of me. i finished my internship funded by the national science foundation in january, can’t say i made too many ties there since i hardly saw my superiors. BUT i did get to know the metrology lab pretty well and even got their machine working. going into it i did NOT imagine i could accomplish that but i felt so good getting it working! i even made a little overturn training manual and gave it over to them. 

okay so starting this semester i am in my gateway courses. so a bunch of physics courses at one time ugh plus i was taking differential and linear algebra. i got so stressed out with the workload that i had a dream where i crashed into a forest and the airbags went off lol. that same morning i dropped my lab and differential equations. it was just WAYYY too much for me. 

i’m still a full time student so it was clear i was doing too much. hmm okay so i’m in my gateway courses so mathematical physics, classical mechanics, and modern physics. i knew i was going to struggle with classical mechanics because kinematics alone was hard for me to grasp and it’s basically dynamics. i didn’t apply as an engineering major literally because i didn’t want to take dynamics LOL i struggled in statics. Of course im taking the same class just named something else and a lot harder T_T. i also wanted to get some undergrad research experience and work in an electronic materials lab but yeah i’m just tooooo busy it was a good idea though lmao.

okay but honestly mechanics is the hardest class for me, modern physics is my most interesting class, and mathematical isn’t too bad even though i suck at math because our teacher grades us mostly on completion and work shown. the hardest thing about this semester is just the schedule itself. so we have to take all three at the same time for some reason or you wouldn’t be able to register for the class ummm overkill much?! and the schedule is from 10am - 7:30 pm ughhhh. I have to take the bus there so add on a couple hours and then i have to walk to class. ohhh i miss the online/hybrid classes so much lol. by the time i’m in my last class i am literally asleep. don’t worry ive started drinking coffee.

looking on the brighter sides of things i’m being a lot more involved in campus and i’m really liking getting to know my classmates! i am so antisocial and awkward so im surprised. i’ve been going to the women in stem meetings, society of astronomy, nsbe coding workshops, ieee circuits workshops, career fairs, and boba socials just for funsies. i realize school isnt all about good grades and killing yourself for that A. i’ve even had more time to spend with my friends (it is so true what they say about making time not having it lol). almost every other weekend we see each other and have little celebrations, watch movies, have study dates, go to the park, get coffee/boba, go shopping etc. and facetiming my friends back in arizona as well! one of my club advisors told me its actually the b and c students that do better in the job market and isnt that freaking crazy! ever since then ive been reminding myself that being perfect and getting a’s isnt always worth it. i have other life to live too and people wont necessarily fault me for that.

okay as for my grades though i have been bombing every single quiz like a 50 or LESS LMAO. that’s with me studying at least a whole day before. however as of now i have passed every exam so far. so my current grades right now are 90% in modern physics, 98% mathematical physics, 100% classical mechanics (but a lot f the grades arent in yet), and a 99% in linear algebra. See and thats me not killing myself this semester so im super happy i decided to not overdo it, it really doesnt make as much as a difference as i thought lmao clearly.

looking forward to spring break! i was in therapy/behavioral health all last year trying to tackle my anxiety and i would say its been helping. its all about making a choice. i’m also in physical therapy now for the next couple of months and then once summer starts i’ll start going back to therapy again. this post might seem positive but this semester i have never felt more unmotivated or stupid. some days i feel like i cant do this and that everyone else around me is so much more capable. but i know as soon as i give into those thoughts that i’ll end up giving up and i don't want to give up. my boyfriend also has been feeling the same way. 

i also lost my wallet this week soooo all my documentation and identification is gone ugh. i had a full on breakdown but am getting that figured out. i’m going to an applications of black holes seminar tomorrow and i am super excited about that. took my linear algebra exam today too, (WHY IS THAT CLASS SO HARD BTW). i havent yet applied but theres this summer research opportunity happening at the university of toronto (dunlap institute of physics and astrophysics) and i think im going to apply! i really want to travel this year and experience something new!

[arolock]

Oh my god. You know what's funny? There was a thing I wondered about after the ending of the S7 for some time, but dropped it because I literally couldn't make any sense out of it, so I put it aside for future seasons and left it in drafts. Well seems it's the time to revisit it. It was a one simple question.

Why THE FUCK didn't Evil Morty kill Rick C-137 and Morty Prime?

He could do it with ease, they were literally in his hands. He was almost unharmed at the end of the fight and Rick C-137 needed Evil Morty's help to get back to life at the moment without going into Phoenix Protocol, which means that after frying Prime's backups Evil Morty could simply kill him, and then apply the same treatment to Rick C-137 and Morty Prime. After that's being done, he could get the Omega device and destroy Prime's base to eliminate any evidence of what had happened there. If he wanted everything to be totally foolproof and to make sure that no 'vengeful Summers' will be going after him, he could find Rick and Morty's current family and kill them too, not such big of a hussle. That's it. No loose ends, no need for 'barbaric overkill' by Omega device, no one to be vengeful. Plain, simple and efficient.

I mean, leaving them alive achieves literally nothing except potentially endangering him. He owns a nuke now. He said that using such a weapon doesn't live you alone, but what about owning it? Does he really trust this particular Rick to leave him alone with such power in his hands? Well that's doubtful. This Morty doesn't come off like a naive trusting ray of sunshine. And trusting Rick? Seriously?

I initially suspected, as many others, I believe, that he wanted to use C-137 for whatever reason, to have him on a hook. But this doesn't make any sense. As if Rick would give a shit about being thrown in the Omega Device. This threat is literally a nonsense, you don't threat a depressed suicidal guy with death lmao. And obviously he can't use it on any family member, because it will only enrage Rick, and he can't use it on the only person for whose safety Rick C-137 can actually, really submit to a blackmail and begrudgingly cooperate.

Evil Morty can't use it on Prime Morty.

So, basically, owning the Omega device literally achieves nothing. And not killing Rick C-137 and Morty Prime doesn't line up with anything we saw about Evil Morty.

So what's the plan?

And there my line of thought literally stalled and now I found your post. I sort of figured that blackmail is a bluff, but I also don't fucking buy the idea of Evil Morty leaving them be 'cause he's being a sentimental little fella, that's Rick's thing. Evil Morty is not sentimental, he's efficient. Anything he does, he does to achieve something, he knows for a fact that he has to be careful and reserved with his moves, he learnt that well enough.

And now you with your stupidly brilliant post came along. And this does fucking line up. It so much fucking does.

Evil Morty can't kill a Rick unless Rick directly poses a death threat to him. I can easily imagine Puppetteer Rick saying something along this infamous Toxic Rick's line: You can die when I say so. But in context that he can kill him, but Morty isn't allowed to be killed by anyone else. Which makes perfect sense, or else Morty would be dead on the very first 'adventure'.

Of course Evil Morty has safety protocols, and of course that's why he never killed any Rick himself until the Saw ripoff and the fight with Prime, when he was basically obliged to fight, to stay alive, and kill other Ricks.

And I think he can now, with Prime's knowledge, upgrade the weapon and use it if any Rick poses a death threat to him again, and using it as a self-defence may overcome his protocols, just like the situation with destroying Citadel - he couldn't possibly know for sure that Puppetmaster Rick wasn't one of Ricks who died there, but he still organised this whole thing, so obviously indirect attacks are allowed. Also explains how he was able to escape his Rick at all.

That all being said, there's one sad thing I believe being true. Evil Morty's safety protocols are not going to cease to exist after Puppetmaster Rick's death. By what we had seen it doesn't make any actual sense if they would. It's not Rick controlling Morty as Morty does with Evil Rick, it seems Morty's protocols are autonomous specifically in case Rick isn't available. And simply killing him will not change anything at all.

But killing every single other Rick? Oh well that's a whole different story.

Mental restraints of the puppeteered

Okay so this theory has been sitting in my head for a long while and I had the feeling it might be accurate but I could not find a way to tie it up with the rest of the plot my headcanons...

Until now, when something changed (namely, the possibility that Rick Prime has been puppeteering other Ricks).

So.

1. Let's observe this scene:

I think we can all agree that Evil Rick was having lunch alone (there are a lot of bittersweet fanarts where Eyepatch Morty seeks comfort from post-surgery Evil Rick in some way or another, but if this one scene is typical of their post-surgery interactions, it appears this hypothetical comfort-seeking was not a thing. They did not even eat together). He broke the plate, either accidentally or on purpose. He picked one of the shards up. The rest is history.

So what I'm seeing is that he was not puppeteered 24/24.

In the incredible, gut-wrenching fanfiction "Ghost in the machine" which you should all totally read (in fact, drop this rambling post and go read it now!! Go go go go!!!!! Like, shooo!!! Come back after you've read it, if you still feel like it. Because there will be SPOILERS in the following paragraphs!!!!) Evil Rick was constantly following orders, 24/24. Even when Eyepatch Morty did not puppeteer him directly, he still had orders to follow, like "bring me this object" or "stand there and wait", and the wiggle room for Evil Rick to resist was minimal. Said resisting mostly took the form of twitching (ergo momentarily disrupting whatever he was ordered to do) at crucial moments, maybe kinda like a computer lagging at the worst possible time. Like I said, absolutely incredible fic, go read iiiiiiiiiiit!!!

But now that Unmorticken has aired and we saw more of their interactions, if we think about the above scene, I think we can reach the conclusion that that's not how it worked. Evil Rick may have received an order to eat, as well as orders to keep the place neat and tidy (and therefore he began picking up the shards) but actually jamming the shard at his eye is not a matter of twitching nor just barely managing to change the trajectory of a movement at the last possible second. It's a fully deliberate action, from start to finish. He had the agency to do it.

So, what I'm seeing, is that Evil Rick was technically free to... be himself when not puppeteered.

With some restrictions in place, of course:

I am just spitballing here, but I'm thinking of what kind of other actions Eyepatch Morty may have forbidden Evil Rick to do, such as:

Cannot damage any equipment (duh, otherwise he'd be throwing a massive tantrum, destroying everything Evil Morty is working on)

Cannot attack Eyepatch Morty (duh, otherwise the kid would never get a moment's rest lol)

Cannot escape

Cannot call for help

...and probably a bunch more, such as "cannot speak" because of Evil Rick's lack of words when Evil Morty came to him during his failed suicide attempt... Plus the fact that he has a scar on his mouth, which a couple of amazing fanart and fanfiction made me wonder if Evil Rick said something during his surgery that Evil Morty very much could not stand hearing so he shut him up with a scalpel or whatever he was holding... before shutting him up for good.

What a nightmare, huh?

And that's when he was allowed to be himself. The rest of the time he'd be forced to watch himself kill Ricks, and kidnap and torture a thousand versions of his grandson.

2. Now, if the theory that Evil Morty was once himself puppetered it true...

...wouldn't he also have a similar list of prohibitions restraining his actions? Such as:

Cannot harm Puppetmaster Rick

Cannot escape

Cannot operate a portal gun (we've never seen Evil Morty operate a portal gun made by a Rick, he made his own. Is that a coincidence? Of course, both are "portal guns" so maybe that's a stretch, unless he calls his own portal weapon something else, like the dinosaurs called their own "portal pistol" lol. Or maybe using a portal gun to escape counts as "escaping" and therefore a separate order is not needed)

Cannot reveal to anyone what Puppetmaster Rick has been doing to him (maybe. Is that one even necessary? Would anyone even help him if he did reveal it?)

3. Like I said, I'm just spitballing here, but I think the above stand to reason. I mean they just seem like reasonable precautions. If this assessment is accurate, we can reach the following conclusions:

a) If Evil Rick's puppeteering experience was a nightmare, Evil Morty's was a living hell considering what Puppetmaster Rick was doing to him, especially if he was not allowed to leave the house and ask for help.

b) The fact that Evil Morty managed to free himself while operating under such massive handicups is another testament to his incredible intelligence and resilience.

c) It may be another reason he showed no empathy to other Mortys in his attempt to escape. They've had it easy, they had their chances to leave the Citadel or kill their Ricks, they had a million other ways and opportunities to escape and either never bothered or blew them. Now it's his turn.

4. Okay, now... what do you think happens to all these mental restraints once Evil Morty severed his connection to Puppetmaster Rick by tearing his receiver off???

One scenario is that they all became void. They were cancelled. Evil Morty was free to be himself, however he wanted. This could very much be true, and in that case my rambling ends here, I have nothing more to say.

Another scenario is all the old restrictions were still in place and effective, and he would just receive no new orders nor be directly puppeteered anymore. (I suppose this would make it into a good metaphor about abused people being conditioned to act in certain ways and it being very hard to rebel against them.) Assuming the second scenario is true, then let's head off to the next points:

5. Depending on the exact extent of Evil Morty's mental restraints, it may be that using Evil Rick as a puppet was not only a clever way to get the upper hand, but that he had literally no other choice. E.g. imagine if he actually was physically incapable of operating a portal gun. He would literally need to hold it via Evil Rick's puppeteered hand. The whole thing would be Eyepatch Morty taking all his mental restraints and turning each and every one of them to his advantage in a convoluted, ingenious way.

6. Judging by Evil Rick's halted suicide attempt, it seems that while he knew that removing the receiver would kill him (I mean... you don't normally die by poking your eye out, so it has to be tearing your receiver off that will kill you, and he knew that) the puppeteered have no knowledge of the restrictions placed on them until they stumble upon them. (That, or Evil Rick knew he was not allowed to commit suicide but was desperate enough to try nonetheless.)

Therefore it's theoretically possible there are still some restrictions employed that Evil Morty is unaware of, which are waiting to spring up on him if the right (wrong) conditions are met.

Personally I think that's unlikely because I'm sure he has studied his own implant extensively since he became president and had access to adequate equipment, but:

7. Even if he studied it, this doesn't mean he was able to alter it nor undo it. We've already seen that it seems that unauthorized removal of part of the puppeteering implant equates with a death sentence. And while Puppetmaster Rick thought it unlikely his scrawny, stupid Morty would ever be able to put together a plan to break free or have the guts to mutilate himself, if the puppeteering equipment was originally, I dunno, a prototype designed by Rick Prime and was intended to be used against Ricks, then it's entirely possible that it is designed to kill the victim both for trying to remove the implant itself and for altering the accompanying code. It's the absolute prison, and despite whatever fast-acting healing equipment Evil Morty successfully used to remove his receiver in the past, it might be that it barely worked and he might not be too keen on trying his luck again.

8. So let's continue this thought experiment and assume that, if not all, at least the core mental restraints of the mind control implant are still very much effective inside Evil Morty's brain.

...Including the "cannot harm Puppetmaster Rick" one.

Now, I don't want to reduce the very important plot point of Evil Morty's mental restraints into semantics of "attack vs hurt vs harm vs kill", but... I'm going to go ahead and assume there are limits, definitions, to these mental restraints, otherwise Evil Morty would never been able to even look at Puppetmaster Rick wrong if there was the tiniest chance of it eventually leading to Puppetmaster Rick getting harmed. So I'm going to assume that the restraint is about something blatant.

Like... shooting Puppetmaster Rick, running him over with a car, poisoning his food, strangling him are all no-go, but aggressively poking him with your finger or not warning him about his impending doom might be okay.

My guess is that restraining Puppetmaster Rick is also okay, because as long as that the "no harm" order is still in action, Puppetmaster Rick would just immediately puppeteer Evil Morty into stopping or freeing him. The puppeteered cannot really get very far with this, especially when they're a tiny, scrawny kid with no equipment of their own... Or that is what Puppetmaster Rick would think.

9. Anyway, until season 5 we don't see Evil Morty directly kill (or try to kill) another Rick. (It's not his fault the Ricks walked into various deathtraps, occasionally when he even specifically told them not to lol) This observation tipped me off to the possibility that some restrictions might still be in place... Of course, I cannot think on why there'd be a restriction against Evil Morty killing random Ricks, so it might simply be that in his attempts to bypass the restrictions against Puppetmaster Rick Evil Morty has learnt to think outside the box and later fully employed this skill to minimize the risk to himself.

And in season 7, he has no difficulty in killing Nice Rick, nor to shoot and attack Rick Prime during the Prime Fight.

10. BUT THEN WHAT'S THIS ABOUT:

I couldn't stop thinking about this phrase!!! It just doesn't make any sense!! WHY DID RICK PRIME ACT LIKE EYEPATCH MORTY WAS INCAPABLE OF KILLING HIM?!

So I kept thinking on what sort of mental restraints might still be active inside Evil Morty's brain.

Like, what? Is it something like him "not being allowed to kill a Rick who isn't currently posing a threat", so he could shoot Rick Prime in the beginning but not now that he's restrained? (But he shot Nice Rick again with no problem inside the box, when he was down and weaponless and dying...) This didn't really make any sense, like... why??? So I dropped this theory and forgot about it...

... until the theory that Rick Prime has been mind controlling other Ricks came up. By more than one fan!!!! (and we followed different lines of thought to reach it!!!)

SO LET'S PUT EVERYTHING TOGETHER:

(1) Evil Morty absolutely does still have some mental restraints in his brain and has been carefully operating around them this whole time, trying not to trigger them.

(2) One of those mental restraints effectively prevents him from killing Puppetmaster Rick. This would provide an additional explanation about why Eyepatch Morty didn't kill Puppetmaster Rick the moment he realized said Rick was freed by Rick C-137 resetting all portal travelers. Like, I can think of other explanations:

Puppetmaster Rick being terrified of the Citadel and having no idea that it no longer exists and worrying that they'll come get him to throw him in the Machine of Unspeakable Doom again, therefore laying as low as possible, either hiding himself so effectively that even Evil Morty can't find him, or protecting his home base to withstand an attack from the Citadel itself, making it extremely difficult for Evil Morty to defeat him.

Evil Morty being either extremely scared or extremely repulsed by him, simply never wanting to deal with him ever again, and thinking it highly unlikely Puppetmaster Rick would ever be able to successfully track him down as long as Morty took certain precautions...

...But it's also very likely that Evil Morty is physically unable to do it. Like, I doubt Evil Morty is morally above neutrino-bombing an entire planet just to get this one Rick, but maybe he can't do it. Maybe he is not allowed to fire such a weapon.

(3) In fact, the only things Evil Morty can do is hide himself in the fringe between worlds, employ a number of sophisticated shields, and surgically add the mind-cotrol-implant-overriding fingerguns on himself. An attack with these might at worst cause pain for Puppetmaster Rick, but as we've seen the fingerguns don't actually physically harm nor kill their target, they just... override the nervous system. So he can use those against Puppetmaster Rick.

(4) Fast forward to the Prime Fight, where Evil Morty uses a gun to kill Rick Prime--and why not? Of course he can do it. He also attacks Rick Prime with his bare hands and hijacks one of Prime's Dianebots to pummel him into a pancake. All good.

(5) Eventually, Eyepatch Morty's temporary allies go down, all the weapons and physical attacks he has tried got him no results, there are no more Dianebots and he's about to get shot:

Desperate, he tries one last thing: the finger-gun, which would only work if Rick Prime also has a mind-control-implant in his forehead.

(6) Bingo!!! It works.

(7) ...But this means that Rick Prime is also defined by a "Puppetmaster Rick status". Whatever mental restraint Evil Morty struggled to operate around is updated to extend to Rick Prime.

While the remains of the mind-control implant inside Evil Morty's head did not receive any new orders (as he no longer has a receiver), the old orders are still in place, and the updated knowledge concerning Rick Prime's status as a "Rick who puppeteers others" firmly slots him inside the "cannot harm" box.

(8) Whatever. Evil Morty is annoyed, but he knows how to work around this. He's unconcerned.

We have no confirmation of this, but it's likely Puppetmaster Rick had a special room and special equipment and used it update or oversee Evil Morty's implant (I mean... we've come up with similar imagery for Evil Morty and Evil Rick). Evil Morty therefore knows Rick Prime should also have something similar, and knows just what to do. He immediately drags him to the control room, where indeed the relative equipment is waiting for him.

What I find funny is that Evil Morty probably didn't stick himself inside the wall panels to get all those cables out, but puppeteered Rick Prime to do it in his stead.

And this explains why part of the room was wrecked: Evil Morty was unfamiliar with Prime's strength and implants, and as we've seen, when controlling an unfamiliar body with implants, accidents might happen:

Evil Morty then puppeteered Rick Prime into sitting on his chair (aaaaand I assume deactivated his time-healing ability) before holding him still.

(9) Rick Prime woke up, saw/felt the fingergun and cables on his forehead, noticed he was unable to move, saw Evil Morty, remembered Evil Morty shooting him with something... and probably also immediately began employing his own implants and defense systems to get feedback on Evil Morty's fingergun and on how it could be overridden.

Doesn't this line make a lot more sense now???

He really is getting the picture. And in fact he may be getting a much bigger picture than Evil Morty might like; he may be stealthily scanning Evil Morty's brain through some other implant of his; see it full of cables, recognize the similarities to his own handiwork. He might understand that Evil Morty has puppeteered others, might understand that Evil Morty was once puppeteered himself. He might get a feedback on Evil Morty's list of mental restraints.

And he immediately begins stealthily mounting attacks against the fingerguns, which retaliate each and every time, turning red and hurting him. He keeps trying nonetheless, while simultaneously trying to distract Evil Morty by sweet talking to him (which is nothing but a testament about how clever he is and his ability to multitask) but his fate is sealed; maybe he'd be able to override the fingerguns given enough time... But he doesn't have enough time, and Evil Morty has prepared himself for this exact moment moment. His fingerguns are not easy to be overridden.

(10) So Evil Morty successfully fries each and every one of Prime's puppeteered victims (which do not have "Puppetmaster Rick status") and Prime says this:

DOESN'T THIS LINE MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE NOW?

He got feedback on Evil Morty's brain control implant. He knows that from the moment the fingerguns worked Eyepatch Morty could literally not harm him anymore.

(11) Not that this matters, because Eyepatch Morty knows just what to do...

...bring someone who can finish the job:

DOESN'T THE ABOVE LINE ALSO MAKE SENSE NOW?

Evil Morty is not the one harming him!!! I mean if you wanna look at semantics he didn't even tell Rick C-137 to kill him, he said a joke, a pun.

And he has the added bonus of coming out of this looking like a team player (I mean... as much as he ever could) and gaining an enslaved, morally obligated Rick to himself lol (turning his mental restraints to his advantage)

(12) AND TALK ABOUT POETIC JUSTICE. RICK PRIME IS BEING PUPPETEERED TO SIT STILL IN HIS OWN CHAIR AND GET PUMMELED TO DEATH when he's the one who had been tricking and enslaving countless Ricks to be puppeteered by him forever.

He's literally forced to sit still there and live through it, unable to even lift a finger to protect himself. Poetic. Justice.

(13) Evil Morty had been very careful up to now to hide the fact that he has puppeteered others, but there is no way Rick C-137 didn't understand that Evil Morty is familiar with the puppeteering technology after this encounter (I mean... Rick C-137 knew not to remove the fingerguns, he knew to remove the cables, he knew what this whole thing was).

Which on one hand, doesn't mean he gets to reach any plot-relevant conclusions (at least, not yet) because he knows Evil Morty scans Ricks' brains and steals their technology. On the other hand... we don't know how much more he needs to put 2 and 2 together and reach the same conclusions that Rick Prime did.

(14) And now for my last point.

If all the above is true...

...and depending on the semantics of the mental restraints...

...I would not be surprised if it turns out that Evil Morty using the Omega Device against Ricks is nothing but a GIGANTIC BLUFF.

Like this is literally the worst he can do: improve its design, build it, threaten to use it. (Depending on whether he intends to do demonstration on e.g. Churry he may not even ever bother to build it.)

Because he literally cannot fire such a weapon against Ricks as long as Puppetmaster Rick is alive.

Of course, he would still be able to fire it against Ricks' family, which is probably more effective as a deterrent considering Ricks' suicidal tendencies, but you get the idea.

(...On a different matter, Rick Prime wins plenty of extra cruelty points for vengefully trying to turn Rick C-137 against Evil Morty by warning him about a weapon he knows the kid literally cannot use.)

Again, this may not be true. We don't know if firing such a weapon by throwing another Rick in the Omega Device (and therefore killing eeeevery Rick) counts as Eyepatch Morty directly killing Puppetmaster Rick or not, but I fail to see how it's different from dropping a neutrino bomb on Puppetmaster Rick's head.

(15) Or maybe I'm wrong and I'm only trying to connect dots that don't exist. I honestly cannot think of another explanation for Rick Prime's lines to Evil Morty in Unmortiricken but this doesn't mean there isn't one.

And I do think Evil Morty being deathly scared of Puppetmaster Rick is adequate explanation for not wanting to even try to kill him, and plot-wise and character-wise I think it's a lot more interesting than semantics.

But then again, it's possible for both of these things to be true... Because even with Rick C-137 suddenly becoming his slave, Evil Morty very much did not jump at the opportunity to kill Puppetmaster Rick. He chose to remain hidden. He doesn't want to deal with him.

[wibble-wobbegong]

Based Anon here!! I can't stop thinking about what we talked about Mike's character arc right now and I was also thinking about the juiciness of him having a Vecna vision to unravel his hidden character's arc. So, I have a kinda ambitious request to make: Could you describe the sequence or the elements Mike's (perfect) vecna vision must contain, please?

BASED ANON WITH THE BASED QUESTIONS!!!! this has been in my inbox for such a long time and i am SO sorry. i was originally gonna answer this with a huge breakdown of the overkill trance songs but i could never get the little details to fit quite right and i feel i covered most of the actual implications in the original post anyway and i don’t wanna start putting all my eggs in one basket so! there’s only one moment i’m gonna be talking about here that pulls straight from the overkill songs because i genuinely think it would be a fantastic ending to mike’s trance

let me say first that i’m coming at this from the perspective that mike will be in this trance for the two year time skip, giving us plenty of time to go through a lot of his fears and insecurities. we need the time to really understand everything that’s been withheld from us and that goes beyond just mike’s feelings for will and fear of being outted. so, below the cut, i’m gonna get into dustin, lucas, nancy, his parents, max, el, will, and then my ideal final scene. i don’t necessarily think the trance explorations will appear in that order (besides the ending) but that’s how i feel like talking about it

Mike’s relationships with each of these characters goes farther beyond the aspect I’m assigning them, however I don’t think we’ll have time to dive into every little detail of every relationship. I’m taking the most prominent thing from each dynamic and showing how it leads to their role in Mike’s trance.

ALSO Max isn’t here because I don’t think she’s going to be in his trance as an illusion, and getting into that deserves a whole other post lmao

Dustin; Loneliness

Okay, starting with Dustin. How does Dustin fit into Mike’s trance? This is something I plan on doing a very deep dive with once I finish the post about Mike’s self destruction, but I actually think Mike and Dustin will inevitably end up fighting about Eddie in S5. They could support each other, but narratively, Mike needs to feel like he’s also lost Dustin in order to push him to the final scene.

I have a feeling Mike is gonna be very reluctant to believe Eddie is actually dead despite Dustin’s insistence. Mike has suffered the most loss of actual people in the show right next to Joyce. He thought Will died, he thought El died, he thought Hopper died (yes Hopper is important to Mike’s story and he cares about him and their dynamic is a whole thing). Every single person Mike has cared for, loved, who died, eventually came back. Nobody is ever really dead in Mike’s world. He’s seen other people die, he’s seen them stay dead, but it’s never the people he cares about the most.

Alongside that, Mike is a character with a lot of hope. He’s stubborn and he almost never gives up with ease. If there’s a solution, he’s not gonna stop until he finds it. Even if Dustin saw Eddie die, Mike isn’t gonna stop hoping. They saw Will’s body, they saw El die, and Joyce first hand reported Hopper’s death and they all came back. He’s not gonna believe Eddie died just like that, not anymore.

This is something that I talk about in the “Vanishing of Mike Wheeler” post, where Mike follows Eddie’s voice into the hands of a waiting Henry, and I think this heavily plays into that. Mike desperately needs Eddie to be alive, not just because he’s a good friend, but Eddie was sort of a beacon of hope to Mike in the sense that he proved queer boys could thrive. If Eddie really is dead, what does that mean for Mike? He’s alone again. Even more so after having his romantic hope stomped on at the end of the season, once Will unintentionally revoked that belief of required feelings Mike had.

This is a lot of Eddie, but it all ties back to Dustin and Mike fighting over it. Dustin held Eddie in his arms as the life drained from his eyes, he’s gonna be pissed if Mike tries to make him think it wasn’t real. Dustin knows Eddie is dead. Dustin has always been able to believe Mike more easily than other people, they’ve grown especially close between S3 and S4, but Eddie died in Dustin’s arms. Mike is gonna refute Eddie’s death and it’s not gonna go over well with Dustin.

Losing the one friend he feels like he still has, who he can still be close with, is going to be coming back in Mike’s trance. Mike’s biggest fear has always been about losing the people he loves. Right now, Dustin is the only person Mike hasn’t lost in one way or another. When Mike pushes too far and loses Dustin too, that’ll be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Dustin is gonna be significant in Mike’s trance as a sort of staple that he really is alone. Dustin never gave up on him and yet he still ended up losing him. Everybody leaves Mike eventually, because no matter what Mike will never be good enough for the people he loves. He’s not even scraping by as good anymore. Dustin’s gonna hammer that insecurity in, making him truly believe he is completely, utterly alone.

Lucas; Normalcy

Lucas’ role is actually gonna be huge I think. A lot of Mike’s arc specifically regarding his sexuality outside of Will and El falls into Lucas’ hands because Lucas is representative of everything Mike wishes he were. Lucas is very similar to Mike (even if he doesn’t see these traits in himself); they’re both loyal, kind, stubborn, brave, etc. but Lucas is still what Mike strives for and we see that a lot in S3.

Even more so than just sexuality, because that was most of Mike’s attempt at normalcy in S3, we see Mike wanting to be like Lucas in other ways in S4. There’s a massive conflict between the two of them that runs deep, but during the cafeteria scene we see a sports book on the table, specifically one about how to become an athlete. This couldn’t be Lucas’ because he’s not eating with them. It’s pretty clear that none of the original Hellfire members are interested in any kind of sport, which only leaves Dustin and Mike. Why the hell would Dustin be reading about becoming an athlete? There’s no service to his character in that and there’s no previous indication of him wanting to play sports.

The book is Mike’s. Mike expresses his frustration with Lucas for joining the basketball team and choosing the championship game over Hellfire, yet we still see him showing some form of longing for the things Lucas has. By S4, Mike has accepted his sexuality and that he cannot change it (even if he has conflicted feelings about it) and that is heavily intertwined to him returning to being a freak by joining Hellfire, but Mike still thinks about what it would be like to be like Lucas. Mike finds light in Hellfire, a place where he can be unashamed of his passion for DND and where he doesn’t have to repress his sexuality (thank Eddie for that one). Part of him, however, still searches in the dark. There’s a temptation to return to that darkness, the one he hid in during S3, and that temptation comes from seeing Lucas manage to find light in the things that are nothing but darkness for Mike. I think Mike sometimes wonders if he can find light in that darkness, too. I think Mike gets kept up at night wondering if he had just kept pushing, kept trying to be normal, if he would have ended up like Lucas somehow. I think he wonders if there’s an even brighter light that he’ll only find by suffering through the darkness first.

Mike doesn’t understand that Lucas was never really doing all the basketball and popularity stuff because it made him happy, but rather out of necessity. Mike and Lucas’ worlds are both incredibly different, but neither sees that about the other. That’s part of what brings about their conflict. If Mike went the way Lucas did, things wouldn’t have ended well. They didn’t end well for Lucas. Lucas’ arc ends with him learning that he never wanted to be like the people he was surrounding himself with. Mike, however, is completely unaware of all this. Mike and Lucas have barely spoken since their fight, where Lucas was still fully on board with being normal — that being normal was better for all of them than being nerds and freaks. Mike doesn’t know anything about what happened with the basketball team. What happened with Jason. To Mike, Lucas is still the peak example of success through normalcy.

Part of Mike still wants to be normal. Mike needed Hellfire, desperately so, but it wasn’t enough. Mike had a space to start being himself, but Hellfire wasn’t a place for Mike. It was a place for freaks, nothing more and nothing less. Eddie didn’t open his arms to Mike on account of Mike being himself, but rather another freak in need of a place to be a bit of a freak. Hellfire successfully gave Mike a place to play DND and start accepting his sexuality (both heavily involved in his arc with Will) but Mike’s internal conflict doesn’t start nor end with who he’s attracted to. Mike has a huge problem in believing he, himself, is good enough. Hellfire gave Mike a place to accept his freakishness, but Mike is more than just a freak. Hellfire isn’t enough. There’s still something missing for Mike, and it’s something Hellfire can’t solve.

Lucas plays into Mike’s trance by being the epitome of everything Mike wishes he were. Lucas has everything Mike feels he lacks, especially in S4. If Mike were normal, if Mike weren’t gay and if he were a better person, maybe he could’ve been like Lucas.

Most likely, I think we’re gonna get some kind of scene where Lucas rejects Mike for his sexuality. He rejects Mike for not being normal, for not being good at sports and for liking boys and for being weak. Mike feels like he’s nothing special at all, and Lucas is only gonna serve to rub it in that Mike is right.

His Parents; Shame Over Emotions

This one is a little self explanatory, to be honest. Karen and Ted have set a lot of expectations for Mike that are more or less impossible to meet. They have set him up with the expectation of perfect emotional independence and control from a young age and they’re often very critical of a lot of his behavior.

Ted has never been there for any of his kids. He’s never even bothered to try. All he adds to Mike’s life is disapproval and critique. Unless Mike is doing something Ted doesn’t like, Ted is totally absent in anything beyond being a money maker. He’s always nitpicking Mike’s emotions. He’s not supposed to care so much about Will in S1, he’s not supposed to react so strongly to everything that happened and act out in S2 (Ted literally implies he should be getting kicked out for this with the whole “if it was my coach, you would be getting kicked off the team” thing), he gets no critique in S3, and he’s judged by Ted in S4 for his passion for DND. The only thing he’s ever seemed to approve of is Mike having a girlfriend. Otherwise, he’s just constantly telling Mike to be less emotional about everything. He’s setting the expectation of emotional control and apathy, just like Ted himself.

Karen, on the other hand, sets a certain expects of emotional independence. The best example of this is when she tells Ted to wait for Mike to come to them after Will’s body is found. Karen does offer support sometimes, through things like open arms and offering to get Mike any movie he wants when he’s supposedly too sad to go to school. The times she chooses to support him, though, set an expectation; he’s only meant to lean on others when he’s at his absolute worst. Even then, Mike is never allowed to open up about what he’s feeling. Karen offers minimal comfort to fulfill her need to be a good parent but it doesn’t let Mike feel as though he can reach out to other people. He’s expected to reach out to others, but when he does we don’t see any real depth to those conversations (except for with Will). Mike is expected to be mature and independent enough to be the one to reach out at twelve years old. He’s expected to be able to handle himself entirely when he’s not hitting rock bottom, and then Karen expects him to reach out when he does despite never really giving him good reason to do so.

Karen and Ted don’t set many surface level expectations with Mike. They aren’t involved enough in his life to really care about whether or not he plays sports or gets good grades. They do, however, expect Mike to be able to fill in the emotional void they’ve left entirely on his own. They expect him to be able to function entirely on his own and have perfect emotional intelligence. Ted encourages him to be apathetic, but Mike is anything but. He’s filled with love and care and anger and grief but he’s expected not to feel any of it at all. Karen doesn’t help by only supporting him when he’s at his lowest of lows.

In his trance, I wouldn’t be shocked if his memories switched to his parents after something incredibly emotional where they’d treat him as though he’s overreacting to it all. It’d really be a great way to showcase how Mike is very rarely allowed to express his emotions as they truly are, and we see him reign himself back several times throughout the show when he realizes he’s putting too much care into something and people are getting frustrated with him for it. It explains why he suddenly seems apathetic when the reality is that he cares so much that he gets shamed for it.

El; Lies

This one doesn’t need a ton of explanation. One of Mike’s core values established in the very first episodes of the show is that friends shouldn’t lie to each other. He holds himself and people around him to that same standard for a long time, and we see people adopt it and hold themselves to it too through the party, but especially El and Will.

His entire relationship with El has forced him to lie. Initially, he hadn’t been lying because he did want to be in a relationship with El as he hoped it would fix him (though we do see him use small lies to get out of hanging out with El without blowing his straight boy act). By the time the ending of S3 comes around, Mike has realized that his feelings for boys, for Will, can’t change no matter how hard he tries to fix himself. El kissed him, but they had been broken up for four months and in that time Mike had grieved the loss of Will (again) and met Eddie. Mike’s accepted his sexuality, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to be open about it. At that point, he may not even like it (though by the start of S4 he does seem to be letting himself indulge in his attraction to guys beyond Will). He’s not ready to come out, and in his mind there’s no way to easily explain to El why he doesn’t want to be together without losing her entirely. So he goes with it. He starts lying.

Mike’s relationship with El after the S3 ending is a huge culmination of Mike conflicting with himself about lying. Contrary to his actions, he actually doesn’t like lying. He doesn’t want to lie to El, but also it’s impossible to be on this relationship with her without doing so. For so long he’s been lying to one of the people he cares about the most, and by the time he gets tranced El will most likely have broken up with him, revealing that his lies throughout all of this were for nothing and he’ll feel like he lost her anyway.

Mike feels plenty of guilt about lying. Even more so, he still wasn’t good enough even when he lied. Even doing the thing he hates he isn’t good enough. In the end, no matter how hard he tried to be enough for El, be the boy she wanted, he couldn’t do it. Lying caused him to lose El. He’s never good enough.

Nancy; Being Unloved

Nancy Wheeler… I have such a love/hate relationship with her specifically because of this.

Nancy is being given emphasis through her lack of presence in many ways. Over the course of the seasons, Nancy has grown more and more distant from Mike and Mike no longer feels cared about by her the way he used to. This post shows how S4 really hammers that fact in. Her lack of any sort of displayed care towards him throughout all of S4 is incredibly important and also a huge contrast to her behavior in S1.

Do I think Nancy cares about Mike? Of course I do. She does care about him. That doesn’t mean Mike feels as though she does, and that doesn’t mean she’s showing him she cares. Like at all. Every interaction they had in S4 showed Nancy as somehow annoyed or making fun of him. She was frustrated when he wasn’t dressed, seethed at Mike suggesting she join them for DND, and talked about how Mike’s room has looked worse than Hopper’s cabin. Mike doesn’t see her reaction to her vision and she gives him no indication of being worried about him upon his return. We have no reason to believe their relationship is anything different outside of what we’re being shown, and we’ve seen their relationship devolve with each season. This behavior in S4 isn’t even that new! Nancy was only barely more considerate towards him in S3.

Nancy, more than anyone else, is being shown as the absence in Mike’s life. She is missing from those core reconciliation scenes. Nancy’s love is absent in Mike’s life entirely at this point and she’s only shown to express negative feelings towards him (when he’s around).

This really isn’t hard to tie into Mike’s trance.

Everything I’ve been talking about this far contributes to this fear that Mike just… doesn’t deserve to be loved. There’s so many things he feels are wrong with him, so many things he’s destroyed. It’s an easy recipe to believe he doesn’t deserve to be loved. That people can see all the things he hates about himself and hate him for it too. Nancy is the peak example of this in S4. We don’t see any love or care expressed towards Mike that he’s made aware of and he only witnesses her frustration or the way she points out his inability to keep his room clean. Nancy used to dress up for his campaigns but now she seethes at Mike even asking her to join. Nancy used to make sure Mike was ok, even chaperoned his middle school dance, and now she doesn’t acknowledge him after he’s been missing for a week even though she was clearly worried about Jonathan. Sometime between the start of all this and now, it’s not hard to believe that Mike thinks his sister has grown to hate him no matter how far from the truth that is. Nancy doesn’t show care like she used to, and Mike is going to blame himself for that.

Will

Now, I find it nearly impossible to assign Will a role in revealing a specific part of Mike that’s been hidden from us. He’s his own category! So much of what has been hidden from us has been about Mike’s feelings for Will specifically.

There’s so many things that could happen with Mike’s feelings for Will, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Will came up as a topic multiple times and we were just given insight into things we weren’t before. Things like missing reactions throughout the show will come in to fill the gaps. We’ll probably get some sort of false confession from Will turned dark, or Will confronting Mike and telling him that he’d never feel the same for someone who’s hurt him so much.

What the trance serves to do is give us perspective on why Mike acts the way he does and give us the missing pieces, but pretty much every season except S3 has had Mike’s plot almost entirely revolves around Will. There is so much missing perspective from Mike’s relationship with Will because we have seen infinitely more of their dynamic without any of Mike’s perspective and because Will plays such a huge role in Mike’s storylines.

Will, on his own, is one of Mike’s greatest strengths and his greatest weaknesses. Everything that I’ve listed so far is something that plays heavily into Mike’s relationship with Will. Those pieces that are being given to us through other characters are filling in Mike’s story, and a ton of Mike’s story is about or includes Will, much more than any other character. When we get Will playing into Mike’s trance, it’ll probably mostly be the things we expect to see. All these missing pieces are gonna be used to fill in Mike’s story with Will in one way or another, so all these fears and insecurities I’ve listed will probably somehow end up getting looped back to Will. Will is vital to every aspect of Mike’s trance. I can’t categorize Will and give an accurate idea of what’ll happen because he’s gonna be everywhere. He’s built into every aspect of Mike’s being, therefore he’s built into the trance’s core.

Final Scene

Okay, so this past does come from the Overkill album and I discuss evidence in that original post, so here’s just a description of what my ideal final scene for Mike’s trance would be.

He’s back at the cliff. He’s spent the last unknown but ungodly long stretch of time completely alone being taunted and more or less psychologically tortured. He’s tried to wait for the music from his friends to save him, but it never came. He’s been left behind and he understands why, seeing as what all these depictions have been confirming for him. So he’s back at the cliff, ready to finally give up. Nobody is coming for him. Nobody is here to tell him to jump or make him stop. This is entirely his own choice, his own want to just let it end.

The toes of his shoes are barely over the very edge of the cliff when music starts echoing from all around him and a portal finally, finally opens. His friends are waiting for him on the other side, holding off Henry. They’re finally here. At this point, though, Mike isn’t even sure if it’s worth going back. He’s at this cliff for a reason. It’s been hammered in over and over why he deserves this. He almost wants this, wants to finally be free from it all.

His friends are screaming his name on the other side and he can’t move. God, he misses his friends. He misses Dustin and Lucas and El and he misses his family and he misses Will. After all of this, though, he doesn’t think he deserves to go back. But they’re calling for him. They want him to come home. They didn’t forget him, they came back.

Mike turns and runs towards the portal, choosing for himself to live. Right now, he’s choosing to live and come back to everyone. They came for him. It’s unbelievable, but they came for him.

This isn’t necessarily a resolution to Mike’s suicidiality more than it’s reinforcing that Mike is very suicidal, that he would jump off that cliff Dustin or no Dustin. He does have a reason to live, and it’s for the people he loves. In that same vein, he’s also willing to die for them. His care for his own life isn’t very strong, and he hasn’t yet discovered his own self worth, which could very well lead to a sacrifice to save one of them.

I think it’d 1. be so captivating and insane to watch and 2. reinforce the state of Mike’s mental health before he returns back to the real world and we’re no longer diving into the deepest depths of his mind when he does things.

anyway, hope all that was good enough!! love you based anon <3

[makeste]

hello! I’ve seen some debate as to whether the 2nd meant allies in general would bolster izuku and although I do think that’s true (ofc any sort of support system that he lets himself rely on would bolster him) I feel like if that was what was meant it would’ve been made clearer? maybe instead of just katsuki showing up, the final panel would’ve had several students burst onto the scene. what are your thoughts?

agreed. and incidentally this is another big reason why it's not Toga. if it was her then Horikoshi wouldn't have devoted any time to OFA II's little hype speech. it just makes it kind of pointless, unless this whole time we've been sleeping on Toga's hidden ability to bolster Deku lmao.

but anyways, yeah. and I mean, Two's commentary here is really just acknowledgement of something we've long since known already. Kacchan is the one who will ultimately be able to reach Deku. we don't actually need a piece of dialogue to tell us this, because the manga has been showing it to us since day one. his resume is fucking stacked. I mean, let's go through it.

he is mean.

I love this you guys. I honest to god love it. because the thing is, if you ask anyone what Kacchan's absolute worst quality is, this would be the obvious answer, right? "he's an asshole" lmao.

but that's exactly what we need right now!! someone who's not afraid to tell it like it is, and won't try to sugarcoat things. someone who's not afraid to argue back and risk hurting someone's feelings. because right now Deku is walking all over anyone who can't do that. All Might tries to feed him lunch and he's like "nah I'm good, anyways bye." Endeavor tries to tell him to rest and he's all "I'm fine" and fucking hangs up the phone. nuh uh. enough of that. what we need is someone who will call him out on his shit. "hah!? don't tell me you're fine when it's obvious to anyone you can barely stand on your own two feet, dumbass."

he is stubborn.

kind of ties into the other thing, but yeah. right now we need a bullheaded asshole who won't take no for an answer if he thinks he's right. good luck trying to sweet talk your way out of this one, Deku.

he understands the situation.

this one is important, because in fairness, simply standing in front of Deku and saying "you shall not pass" isn't gonna be enough to actually accomplish anything here. ultimately he's going to have to be able to reason with Deku too. and so in that respect, it certainly doesn't hurt that Kacchan is someone who understands the OFA situation as well as anyone, and has always had clear judgment about it. he understands the threat of AFO ("they all died young"), and he understands the burden of All Might's legacy. he knows what Deku is dealing with, and that's going to give him an edge when it comes to finding that elusive-yet-critical talk no jutsu knockout blow.

he's been where Deku is now.

Kacchan knows a thing or two about burdens. granted, they've more often than not been ones that he's put on himself, but that didn't make them any less heavy. Deku right now is struggling not just with his feelings of responsibility, but also with all of the misplaced guilt that's feeding into it. AFO is targeting him. if innocent people get caught in the crossfire then that's on him. every minute that AFO stays out there getting stronger and causing more chaos is all on him, because he hasn't defeated him yet. and so on and so forth.

and Katsuki knows what that's like. because he blamed himself for what happened to All Might. that feeling of "if I'd only been stronger" is one that he's intimately acquainted with. that feeling of blaming yourself, of not being able to look someone you care about in the eye because you think it's your fault they got hurt. this is something he knows. this is a road he's already been down. and so if Deku tries to pull any "you don't understand" nonsense, Kacchan is uniquely situated to immediately shoot that shit right down.

he's immune to low blows.

lol I keep thinking of all the different counterarguments that Deku could make, and all the different ways in which Kacchan is perfectly equipped to handle them. anyway, so this particular thing is a very recent development, but very fortunately timed. so as we all know, Kacchan was a first class dick to Deku during their childhood. something which Deku, with his abnormally kind and forgiving nature, has never once confronted Kacchan about, even though he would have absolutely had the right. but anyway, so here's the thing though -- right now I fully believe that Deku can and will do or say just about anything in order to get Kacchan and the others to leave. and that includes hurting them in order to save them. so it would not surprise me at all if Deku goes as far as to throw Katsuki's old, cruel, selfish behavior back in his face as part of a last-ditch effort to get him to back down. desperate times and all that.

and maybe there was a time when that actually would have worked. but here's the other thing -- we know something Deku doesn't. namely, that Kacchan has recently leveled up emotionally and has finally unlocked his atonement quest. he finally understands that it's not all about him. which means that it doesn't matter even if Deku pulls out the big guns. he may hurt his feelings, but he's not going to scare him off, because Kacchan's focus right now is on atonement, not forgiveness. he's not doing this for a pat on the head. he's doing it because it's the right thing to do. and no amount of insults will be able to sway him from that.

he learned from the best.

I said this in another post a couple of weeks back, but yeah. Angsty Nomad Deku has nothing on early Kacchan in terms of pushing people away. early Kacchan was the motherfucking king of pushing peeps away. if you so much as LOOKED at this kid in such a way that SUGGESTED you might even be THINKING about possibly trying to save him, he would straight up throw a ten-year hissy fit lmao. Deku's "All Might, you don't have to tag along anymore"s ain't got SHIT on all of Kacchan's "STAY BACK DEKU"s and "I'D RATHER LOSE!!!"s and "OMFG HOW DARE YOU BE THE ONLY PERSON TO TRY TO SAVE ME FROM THIS RAMPAGING SLUDGE MAN WHO'S ABOUT TO SUFFOCATE ME TO DEATH"s. Kacchan is the undisputed goat here lol.

but anyway, so what this means is that he has accumulated a whole HOST of iconic lines and fateful parallels which he can throw back in Deku's face at a moment's notice. and the best part is that he learned it all from THIS EXACT MOTHERFUCKER, RIGHT HERE. what is Deku even gonna do!! argue against his own past actions?? "well, uh, I guess now that you mention it I should have just sat back and watched you die all those times" OH REALLY?? YOU DON'T SAY. THAT SOUNDS SO CONVINCING.

and so guess what, Deku -- if Kacchan was worth saving, then you're worth saving too. it's an ironclad argument. congratulations son you played yourself.

he always wins.

okay so real talk, we all know that what's really driving Deku right now is his fear of losing people. he's helpless against that. he saw Kacchan get stabbed right before his eyes and it fucked him up. he saw all these other people getting hurt and killed because he couldn't save them, and he straight up could not deal with those emotions at all. he's scared. he's more afraid of that happening again than of anything else. and AFO knows that, and that's why he's resorted to his current tactics, which have isolated Deku even further and caused him to push even All Might away.

what Deku is missing right now, and what he needs to have restored, is trust. trust is the antidote to fear. and when you're as scared as Deku is, it takes an extraordinary amount of assurance in order to ease those fears. basically you don't want to place your faith in anything less than an absolutely sure thing.

but Kacchan is exactly that. this is the exact type of situation that Kacchan's "aiming for the top" overkill confidence was made for. he's the one who never loses!! the hero who's going to surpass all other heroes!! Deku inherited All Might's compassion, but Kacchan inherited his determination. Kacchan is someone who brings reassurance. his confidence is unwavering. and in the end, I think it will be strong enough to pull even Deku back out from the darkness.

he is strong.

Kacchan is Deku's rival in every sense of the word, and I fully believe he's capable of matching him step for step even now. and so Deku can try to push him away, but Kacchan is capable of withstanding that force and staying his ground. Deku can try to run, but Kacchan still has him matched for speed. and as a last resort, Deku can even try to defeat him -- but Kacchan won't ever concede to defeat.

and all of this ties back into what I was saying about trust. because Kacchan is strong. strong enough not to die. strong enough to live. strong enough to not make others worry about him. and that's what Deku so desperately needs right now in order to finally let go of his fears. Deku needs someone who can get him to trust in others again, and to do that, he has to be able to trust in their strength.

and last but not least...

he has a secret weapon up his sleeve.

several, as a matter of fact. his hero name reveal. his apology, if he chooses to give it now (though I could see him waiting for a more sincere moment, rather than whipping it out now when it could be misconstrued as a manipulation tactic). but perhaps most importantly...

never underestimate the power of an iconic role reversal. because that's what I'm getting at here, if it wasn't clear lol. this probably would have worked better if I had a picture of him actually reaching out to Deku. but I mean, that's kind of the point lol. I don't have one because he hasn't done it yet. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE. good luck withstanding that, Deku.

so yeah. look at all that. he really is a one-man Deku-saving army. which is not to say that the other kids won't have a part to play as well, or that it's not important for them to be there, because it is. but as far as the lead role goes, it's Kacchan. like that astronaut meme guy says. always has been.

oh and as a bonus he was smart enough to finally leave the mask at home today lol. LET DEKU SEE THE SINCERITY IN YOUR EYES. YESSSSSSS.

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Living for your gif game lmao and your timeline posts and honestly now i get why there's so much scepticism about this whole 'relationship'. It really seems like PR on roids, overkill. You should add the eldest nephew follow -you know the one taller than alba-, and the yoga group pics and the certificate trolling to prove she was in ATL the 'whole time' after the people article. It's all highly sus and artificial. Mostly because if they were private, they could've remained private any way, get spotted in the wild, organically?? Promo for her show? That's tacky. There are honestly many things not adding up, not only the weird body language. However, he'll be featured in nasty articles about hollywood age gaps relationships lol

OMG, HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THE YOGA CERTIFICATE??? I had a really good Thai soup that day that I couldn't enjoy because of the fandom explosion, lol.

OMG, AND I FORGOT HER POSTING HER MOM'S AGE TO IG.

[onceupon]

THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY THOUGHTS!

I need to be in like a book club or a show-watching club, one that skews toward hyper-fixation… aka tumblr so here we are.

If you don’t know what happens in Books2/3 then spoiler alert!

This is also easily the most nerdy and excessive thing I’ve posted on this app. I don’t even need anyone to read this I just needed to get all my thoughts out of my head lmao

For starters, I never read TSITP series when I was younger, but my angsty, caught in a love triangle with my guy best friend and his best friend teenage self, would’ve ATE THIS UP. Ahh. It was still so fun reading at 22 and feeling that nostalgia of being a teenager again. So I basically binge-read all 3 books this past week and then immediately binge-watched the series. Let’s dive in.

Initial Reactions

So cringe. But in the best way. Like in a way that really highlights the innate cringiness that comes with going through your teens.

I enjoyed the music choice, but too an extent. I know a lot of people loved it but I kind of felt like they were overdoing it? Using every single song popular on Tik Tok was a bit overkill. I love T Swift though so I’ll make some exceptions.

LOVE Lola Tung. Literally such a perfect fit for the role. Adore her. I saw someone on Instagram say they loved how the cast was on the younger side aka more true to the age that they were playing. Basically they didn’t look like adults playing teens, they actually looked like teens.

I really liked how they chose it to be a series rather than a movie, really letting us marinate with the setting and the characters.

Show vs Books

Since I just read the books before watching, all the details are still fresh in my mind. I know the book will always be different, but I’m used to not watching the movie/show until years later. Since it was back to back for me this time, it was fun being able to pick up on so many little things.

Did anyone else pick up on how they sped up some plot points and repurposed/reinvented others from books 2 and 3? Some of these might be a reach… but it kept me thinking “wait! that’s not supposed to happen yet!” Which makes me all the more excited because Jenny Han definitely has some ideas up her sleeve for the next seasons.

First, introducing the Jeremiah-Conrad love triangle in this season. In the first book, Belly rejects Jeremiah when he confesses his feelings. The entire book she only ever has eyes for Conrad. The love triangle doesn’t start till Book 2.

Second, the necklace!? In the books she finds it in Book 2 (post-breakup, when her and Jer go looking for Conrad), decides to wear it rather than ask about it, and when Conrad sees her and Jere kissing in his car, he demands she take it off and give it back because it’s not hers and he never gave it to her anyways. Which doesn’t even COMPARE to book 3 when he gives it to her on what’s supposed to be her WEDDING DAY to JEREMIAH. Like that was such a pivotal moment of the plot. Belly was really standing her ground after his love confession, but when she saw that necklace and he finally admitted it belonged to her and that he got it for her 16th birthday, she was 2 seconds from folding. While they kept the part where it’s for Belly’s birthday and we got that cute scene where she asks him about it in the shower, it didn’t hold as much weight as it did in the books to me? Maybe they’ll continue incorporating the necklace though and it’ll end up carrying as much meaning.

Next, there were several lines from books 1-3 that they used in season 1 just in a different context. Like when Conrad says “you know I think about you, I just can’t right now.” In the show they use it mid-season after they almost kissed on the Fourth of July. Im nitpicking here but I just loved the original context of the line in the book 😭 At the end, after the whole shit show storm, the cancer secret, the fight, everything, Belly kisses him to comfort him, and he kisses her back. Like come on:

Then Taylor being in the car with Conrad after the skinny dipping fiasco and telling him to let Belly go. Taylor and Conrad didn’t have that convo until book 3, at the house, the day before Belly’s wedding.

Further, while I enjoyed the debutante ball addition, it borrowed some themes from books 2 and 3 which I wonder whether they’ll be repeated or not. Such as the prom in book 2 and the whole idea of actively choosing Jere over Conrad which she never did until book 3.

Lastly, Belly tripping her and Susannah at the Fourth of July part. In the first book, there is no Fourth of July party. Instead we have book 2, everyone is at the summer house for the funeral. Belly sees Conrad for the first time after their breakup and he’s with Aubrey which puts her into a fit of rage, telling him to go to hell and that she hates him, making a scene, and tripping up the stairs as she runs away. That’s when we get her dad coming up to comfort her, assuring her Laurel doesn’t hate her. I think I like this change, for Belly’s sake. It made me so sad for her, how much she regretted it, and I think Jenny Han doesn’t want to make Belly in the show stoop down to that level. BUT, then it led to that drunk, crying apology in the ocean to Conrad which had that boy messed UP. Give and take. I think it’s cool how Jenny Han is repurposing various plot points in a way that’s familiar but entirely different.

Honorable mention: Belly and the deb girls skinny dipping in the show vs. Belly wanting Cam to skinny dip with her in the book and him rejecting her.

Characters

Steven in the show definitely had a much larger role which I loved! In the books, he’s only at the summerhouse for the first half of summer, leaving to go on college tours with his Dad and to study for the SAT. However, that gave us one of my favorite Steven-Belly moments that wouldn’t have happened in the show. Because while show Steven was pretty oblivious, book Steven was well aware how the Fisher boys look at his sister, even though he’d never admit it.

Belly and Conrad in the show were less-aggressive versions of themselves than the books. More mature maybe and… soft? Book Belly was far more childish/dramatic and book Conrad was a MAJOR asshole when he wanted to be. When those two fought in the books they were spitting VENOM. Book Conrad and Belly are 100% The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift. Screaming? Yes. Fighting? Yes. Kissing in the rain? Yes. So in love they both act insane? Yes times a million.

I thought Jeremiah, Cam, Laurel, and Susannah were all pretty spot on. Aside from the new addition of Jere being bi. And sorry to be a hater, but I really didn’t care about Laurel and Susannah’s side-plot romances in the show. I said what I said.

Fave new moments:

- drunk Belly talking to Conrad while he’s showering

- their little texts

- Taylor being a good friend (redirecting the convo during never have I ever - which btw happened in book 3 when Belly is in college)

Fave moments that stayed true to the book:

- the boys first look at Belly when she arrives

- Conrad touching Belly’s hair when he’s drunk in the car

- the scene where Belly is swimming and tells Conrad to quit smoking

What I missed:

I wish they had done more flashbacks! I felt like the flashbacks in the book did a really good job at showing us the foundations of Belly’s relationships with both Jere and Conrad. Jere being the loyal, fun best friend and Conrad always having a soft spot for Belly, looking out for her in a way that was special. Like this one from when Belly is 10:

I also wish they included the scene in the end, after the final kiss, where it’s Jere, Conrad, and Belly, swimming in the pool and goofing off like little kids after all the sadness, promising each other they’ll always come back to Cousins.

What I can’t wait for in season 2:

- if they don’t show us the flashback scenes of Conrad and Belly’s dates, especially when they snuck away to the beach house in the middle of the night in the dead of winter… I’m suing.

- more of Steven and Belly’s relationship like when Steven came to her room after the prom disaster

- Belly’s drunk apology to Conrad during the summer party

- Laurel ripping Adam a new one for wanting to sell the house

What I hope for season 3:

- I hope they don’t get rid of the Jeremiah cheating plot line. A lot of people think that’s out of character for him, but I really really don’t. Jere is this happy, outgoing, charming kid. And he definitely has the perfect storm of personality traits brewing for being a stereotypical frat boy which he totally is in book 3. Even in book 2, he says if Conrad had admitted his feelings he would’ve stepped aside. But if it had been anyone else, he would’ve tried regardless. Like hello? If they include it, and Belly stays with him, which I think she will because I feel like it’s important to the plot and to her growth after, I’m still gonna scream at Belly for being an idiot. But what can you do.

- Book 3 Belly grew and matured a lot (not 100%, but a noticeable difference from book 1). I already feel like show Belly is pretty mature, but I’m sure we’ll see more growth, which we love because team Belly always.

- Immediately following that with Conrad’s growth. Quit smoking, runs, cooks, mended his relationship with his dad, calls Laurel every week, in med school? Man oh man… can’t wait to see this version of our once self-destructive favorite boy.

- Belly and Conrad’s Christmas at the summerhouse of course

- Conrad admitting to Belly he loves her and that she should be with him 😭😭😭

- hearing Conrad’s POV (if it wasn’t already obvious I am 100% team Conrad)

- and I swear, Jenny Han better not leave us short in series 3 like she did in book 3. All that drama and angst just to get a small little epilogue and a couple letters for Belly and Conrad’s relationship when they finally end up together!? Are we serious. She could’ve at least given us a couple chapters. Anything. We barely got breadcrumbs. At least we know they get married and run off into the ocean in the rain like the adorable beach-kid soulmates they are 😌

If you read the whole thing we’re now best friends.